Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? I do ALL THE TIME. Frequently, it's the Playhouse Disney "bananas for birthdays song" and I wake up at 4am with "na na na nana nana-hey!" playing over and over in my brain, but when it's not that, it's either The Lion Sleeps Tonight or...some horrible song by P!nk. Now, I know it's en vogue to be a parent to a toddler and complain about toddlers' music and television choices, but those things don't bother me. "Bananas for birthdays" makes me kind of happy. I like watching Handy Manny. And I find The Lion Sleeps Tonight to be kind of a constant comfort to me. I don't mind having either of those things stuck in my head.

P!nk, on the other hand, drives me up the bloody wall. I've tried to discuss it with other people, but no one seems to feel the way I do. My fiance thinks it's funny that I get so disgusted any time a Pink song comes on the radio. His littlest sister actually likes P!nk and doesn't understand what I'm talking about when I complain. No one gets it. I cannot stand P!nk.

It's a complicated problem. The thing is, I want to like her. She's the underdog, she's the outside-the-box, anti-hero pop star. I love pop, and everyone loves hard-luck stories, so I feel as though I should LOVE P!nk, that she should be the Britney Spears foil (for clarity, I LOVE Britney Spears) and should fill some kind of musical gap. But I don't. Her music drives me nuts - it is a constant irritant. It makes me want to write an angry blog. Here's why:

She SUCKS.

It's inescapable. I want to like P!nk because she's smart and she's different and a lot of the time her song lyrics reflect that. But the woman has NO talent. Once upon a time, she put out some good stuff. She was new and likely had little to no creative control over her music, and songs like Most Girls and Just Like a Pill likely drew her into the spotlight and into the hearts of some. I used to love Just Like a Pill - it was a mixed-CD staple for me. However, things changed.

The first P!nk song that I really hated was Stupid Girls. It was really the beginning of her downfall for me. The idea behind the song was intelligent, and the lyrics were pretty good. But for the first time, it was SO obvious that her voice is...awful. And I hate to say it (ok, I don't), but I find it difficult to be synpathetic to her sarcastic, judgmental message when she's such a poor singer. It sounds a lot like she's speaking up against people trying to get ahead based on their looks, but she doesn't seem to have any real merits.

The next big offender was So What. Where do I start? The blatant exploitation of her failed relationship? Calling your ex a tool is so...Well, we all know what it is. But even worse, her lyrics started getting BAD. I thought overuse of the word "tonight!" was just a cliche - it's hard to tell if she's joking.

Then there was Fun House. I don't know where this song came from or why she began singing in that silly, irritating high-pitched voice, or why anyone would. It seemed almost as though she was trying to cover up her lack of musical talent by doing strange things with her voice.

Raise Your Glass is the worst, though. Ok, yes, we all knew that P!nk wasn't a pretty, girly type, but in this song she really proves that she has all the femininity and sex appeal of a dump truck. She might think she's a nitty-gritty dirty little freak, but I think she's a man-shouldered tranny-ish, aging enbarrassment. What's with the guitar sound effects? WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE A MAN? Or even worse, a stupid frat boy. Mock lest ye be mocked?

I don't feel bad for P!nk. Hollywood wanted you to change? Sex change? You've done it to yourself. Get out of my head.